is it really that you don't know , or is it that you're just being ignorant ?

oh god , the problem between my parents which happened yest night almost affected my performance for amath ..
but , i'm glad it didn't .. told myself to get the thoughts away , i could think of it after today's exams ..
well , didn't work at first , headache , wanted to cry ..
i almost wanted to give up , but i couldn't bear to ..
so i pulled my way through , and i did it ^^
rain was heavy today , wind was strong ..
then was CS exam , quite easy .. hahas ..
after that had poa lesson , then had break ..
went to 883 with celestine and yuanlong ^^ went to buy bread ..
then continued with lesson again ..
left school at 5.15pm .. then went to causeway to eat and studied with yuanlong ..
reached home at 8pm .. hahas ..
talked to yuanlong abt my family stuffs , thanks for the advice ^^
going to do a bit of revision later .. jiayous !

seriously , you don't deserve my respect ..
you failed as a father and husband .. failed badly ..
you're saying that we can't survive without you ? you're hell wrong ..
saying that you've nv asked mum for money before ? your facial expression betrayed you .. i know you did asked for money from her before , lots of times ..
not just once , is your conscience clear by saying that ?
you don't just asked for a few $10 at one time , you asked for $1000 recently !! then you asked for $500 again !! then yest you asked for $300 , mum did not give you and you keep threatening and scolding her !
what do you treat her as ?!? she's human , we're human ! we've feelings too , i guess you don't ..
what's with all that money you want ?! GAMBLE right ??!
all you know is to gamble , know what i want to say to you ? GO TO HELL & f.you !
you've lost every little respect i've for you ..
you saying that you're the one providing for us ? asking where all her salaries has gone ?
i shall tell you ! you're not even providing for us , so what if you work ? all you spend on is gamble and maybe outside affair ! you call giving mum $30 a day providing for us ? she still has to give us daily allowance .. how is she going to buy veges and home stuffs when she don't have enough money ?! you don't even help pay the phone bills alright , mum uses her whole salary to pay everything ! NOT YOU !!
she even pay for the courts installment for you , for your stupidness , for your betrayal , for you buying that tv for that damn dead woman ! so what if she's dead ? you think i don't know what happened during that 3 yrs ? think i stupid ? even though i was only 1 yr old , i remember everything i saw ! i rmb how you ignored me when i was dead sick with super high fever ! i remember the scene when you hit korkor with that dozen of canes ! everytime i try to forgive you , you do something wrong !
mum don't even have enough money to buy what she wants ! all you know is to spend off her hard-earned money !
she wakes up at 5am , comes home at 7pm .. can't you spare a thought for her ?!
you're 59 , i'm 15 , i'm 44 yrs younger than you ..
if a 15 yr old brain could think like this , why can't you ?! you're so old alrd , yet you still don't realise life !
you want to spend your last few yrs of life scolding ppl ?!
stop saying that everything's mum's fault . don't blame anyone for your bad luck . in fact , you deserve that bad luck . you don't deserve anything .. so what if you're my father ?! YOU FAILED AS MY FATHER ! YOU FAILED AS MUM'S HUSBAND ! i'm tired of forgiving you times and again , i give up . don't blame me , it's all your doings ..


today's our 2.6 anniversary , but you're sick ..
so , happy anniversary and get well soon ! don't overwork yourself ..