random reflection ;
hell0s .. i'm back to post again , just after a few mins ..
well , i just had some thoughts for this yr & maybe one or two relating to last yr ..
so , i wanted to blog abt it .. i know it's a week too early , most ppl would only do this at the end of the yr , last day .. but i'm just afraid i would forget abt it , so i'll blog it out now , and if there's any other thing i recall of , i'll blog it on the last day of 2009 ..
some of you must be wondering why did i write 24th dec. 08' for the prev post ..
it's because i realised today was 24th , and on this date last yr , something unpleasant happened .. it was really a very sad day , just before christmas , & so i didn't celebrate christmas that yr .. everything was ruined , and i still remembered i cried for continuous 5 hours on that day .. it's all in the past now , and i got to forget abt it and not let it affect me or the relationship ..
so , back to this yr ..
overall , this yr was great i guess , with some down times too ..
there are a few things which i regretted ..
i regretted for not studying hard for the first half of the yr , and hence failing those really impt subjects .. regretted for giving up on studies and myself , giving up on emath , amath & science during exam ..
i really wonder how my attitude became so bad during that period ..
only realising my wrong after getting back my horrendous results .. but it was a good thing i didn't realised it too late .. hahas ..
some things which i regretted too , i'm not going to mention it here ..
then there are times when i felt really down too .. but many a times , i get over it fast ! i'm one who doesn't dwell on something and be sad for too long , unless it's something that's really very upsetting ..
i get angry and sad just for a little while , and i'll be ok ..
this isn't who i used to be till i learnt to think positively .. hahas ..
then a few months ago , before my EOY exams , i felt really stressed ! sometimes , i felt like quitting school which i think wasn't what i really want , i'm just saying it because i felt really hopeless and useless .. i was so worried i couldn't meet the criteria to promote to sec 4NATT successfully ..
a few ppl talked to me abt studies .. nothing really went in , all i was thinking was , " how am i supposed to promote when my emath and amath are so lousy ?! " & " what happens if i don't promote ? should i quit school ? " . these were all my negative thoughts , and i nv thought anything positive abt it ..
it was only until when mr lim talked to me .. cos' i know i don't want to disappoint anyone , and ppl normally will set high expectations of me .. so , i decided not to let down anyone .. but it was not at all easy , cos i still had the thought .. hence , i told myself to ignore all the criteria and just work my way through , often reminding myself not to give up .. during the exams , i was feeling very nervous , but i know that as long as i put in my effort and do it the right way , things will be alright ..
& i managed to pull through it ! ^^
and just 2 months back , something bad happened in my family .. i felt so rejected , so hopeless , so useless .. i thought that i could really leave him , but i couldn't .. i was really upset when my mum decided to move back , but then i thought again .. well , it's a family matter , moving out is no solution , the only best solution is to face it tgt ^^ things are alright now , i'm glad .. it really hurts a lot to see my mum crying , feeling so uncertain .. sometimes , i wish i could just talk right into her to leave him , but i know it's difficult to do so .. they've been tgt for over twenty yrs ! so , all i can do is to accept it .. but during that period of time , some ppl were there for me .. a hundred times of thank you aren't even enough to express my feelings .. but do know that i really appreciate your care and concern & help ! though my books are torn , housewares are spoilt , but i have found treasure ! hahas ..
lots of things happened this yr , and i've learnt a lot of things from it ! things always happen for a reason !
i really have to stop here , if not ppl will be halfway into lala land alrd ..
so , byebyes !
a million thanks !
hell0s .. i'm back to post again , just after a few mins ..
well , i just had some thoughts for this yr & maybe one or two relating to last yr ..
so , i wanted to blog abt it .. i know it's a week too early , most ppl would only do this at the end of the yr , last day .. but i'm just afraid i would forget abt it , so i'll blog it out now , and if there's any other thing i recall of , i'll blog it on the last day of 2009 ..
some of you must be wondering why did i write 24th dec. 08' for the prev post ..
it's because i realised today was 24th , and on this date last yr , something unpleasant happened .. it was really a very sad day , just before christmas , & so i didn't celebrate christmas that yr .. everything was ruined , and i still remembered i cried for continuous 5 hours on that day .. it's all in the past now , and i got to forget abt it and not let it affect me or the relationship ..
so , back to this yr ..
overall , this yr was great i guess , with some down times too ..
there are a few things which i regretted ..
i regretted for not studying hard for the first half of the yr , and hence failing those really impt subjects .. regretted for giving up on studies and myself , giving up on emath , amath & science during exam ..
i really wonder how my attitude became so bad during that period ..
only realising my wrong after getting back my horrendous results .. but it was a good thing i didn't realised it too late .. hahas ..
some things which i regretted too , i'm not going to mention it here ..
then there are times when i felt really down too .. but many a times , i get over it fast ! i'm one who doesn't dwell on something and be sad for too long , unless it's something that's really very upsetting ..
i get angry and sad just for a little while , and i'll be ok ..
this isn't who i used to be till i learnt to think positively .. hahas ..
then a few months ago , before my EOY exams , i felt really stressed ! sometimes , i felt like quitting school which i think wasn't what i really want , i'm just saying it because i felt really hopeless and useless .. i was so worried i couldn't meet the criteria to promote to sec 4NATT successfully ..
a few ppl talked to me abt studies .. nothing really went in , all i was thinking was , " how am i supposed to promote when my emath and amath are so lousy ?! " & " what happens if i don't promote ? should i quit school ? " . these were all my negative thoughts , and i nv thought anything positive abt it ..
it was only until when mr lim talked to me .. cos' i know i don't want to disappoint anyone , and ppl normally will set high expectations of me .. so , i decided not to let down anyone .. but it was not at all easy , cos i still had the thought .. hence , i told myself to ignore all the criteria and just work my way through , often reminding myself not to give up .. during the exams , i was feeling very nervous , but i know that as long as i put in my effort and do it the right way , things will be alright ..
& i managed to pull through it ! ^^
and just 2 months back , something bad happened in my family .. i felt so rejected , so hopeless , so useless .. i thought that i could really leave him , but i couldn't .. i was really upset when my mum decided to move back , but then i thought again .. well , it's a family matter , moving out is no solution , the only best solution is to face it tgt ^^ things are alright now , i'm glad .. it really hurts a lot to see my mum crying , feeling so uncertain .. sometimes , i wish i could just talk right into her to leave him , but i know it's difficult to do so .. they've been tgt for over twenty yrs ! so , all i can do is to accept it .. but during that period of time , some ppl were there for me .. a hundred times of thank you aren't even enough to express my feelings .. but do know that i really appreciate your care and concern & help ! though my books are torn , housewares are spoilt , but i have found treasure ! hahas ..
lots of things happened this yr , and i've learnt a lot of things from it ! things always happen for a reason !
i really have to stop here , if not ppl will be halfway into lala land alrd ..
so , byebyes !
a million thanks !
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