it won't be the same anymore .

hell0s .. having body aches now , plus abdominal pain and headache .. my hands got few cuts .. i don't know how i got it too .. today was quite a bad day .. first , i woke up late and when i went down , there was not a bus or even a single taxi ! felt really irritated , felt like crying .. felt like skipping school , but didn't as i knew this wasn't right .. bus came , so i bused to a stop after interchange , got down and rushed to school .. reached school , looked for ms lee to pass her GB stuffs , felt like fainting at that time , lacked of oxygen as i walked super fast .. so quickly went to sit down , settled down and had assembly .. was feeling very at lost during assembly talks , i cried .. i guess nobody saw as i was sitting at the back .. felt like going to the washroom and cry out but couldn't find the strength to stand up .. then back to class , had lessons .. then after school , went to RP for open hse , then back to riverside for cca .. i felt really moodless and tired .. homeworks for today , i'll only complete it tomorrow .. i guess i really need a break .. things are starting to crash down again , but i hope i wouldn't be affected .. trying to smile is really difficult when you're crying deep down inside .. it hurts a lot .. what did you expect me to say or do .. why did you have to do that and give up on what we had .. there's nothing i can say , speechless , since you have taken my care and my advices for granted ..

feeling really down .. there's nothing i can do .. it's only when you lose someone close to you and you regret .. but it's too late , really too late .. i realised my attitude at home is worsening , i've to change .. for myself and for others .. i'm not going to make them feel unhappy cos' of my attitude .. i feel like , dying ..

i need to talk to you ..

no matter what happens , life still has to carry on ..