ruminative brooding .

what exactly am i thinking ?!? argh !! feel so fed up with myself , sad the whole day , faked smiles .. teared again .. how can i understand what i'm thinking when i don't even know what's wrong with me , with the relationship .. haix .. i'm affected , tried hard to concentrate , but i can't .. had thoughts of slashing , but in the end , gave it up ..

see my thoughts