be strong !

hell0s ! second post for the day !
i'm feeling better ,
woke up by my mum at 7.20am today , showered and prepared ..
then my parents were talking , all the way to 8.40am ..
felt so irritated that i walked out of my room , went out of my hse to wait for my mum ..
indeed i felt better outside , not so tensed ..
reminding myself not to flare up at my mum when she comes out , i did it , cos' i kept quiet ..
reached causeway , had breakfast at mac ..
after breakfast , we sat there chatting ..
i wanted her to listen to me , kind of vented it out while talking ..
after i told her something , i immediately broke down ..
i couldn't control my tears anymore , all of it welled up in my eyes , and drops of tears slowly dripped onto the table ..
ppl were looking , but i don't care ..
i guess my mum was shocked , don't know what to do ..
she has not seen me cry for a long time , except that fri and today , right in front of her ..
felt better after crying , i hope she understands now ..
she tried persuading me not to go , for her , i won't ..
mood got better after that , thanks a lot , mum , i love you !
holiday is the song i listen to , i want to go far far away , i need to take a holiday , shall come back when i think i'm good ..
i wish i could go away , but i can't ..

anyway , purpose of this post is not based on the above , but dedication to boonsiong ! who says dedication can only be done on special occasions , hahas ..
i do it as and when i want to , i don't know how to express myself well orally or in words , but i do hope that he feels the love from the dedication :)

erm , i don't know how to start .
but first , i really want to thank you for being here for me ..
having you by my side was the greatest gift i've received 3 yrs back before valentine's .
you was and you still are ,
thanks for being around when i cried that wednesday , a day i'll never forget ..
you held on to the hope of patching up with me even when we broke up ,
remember i told you that i most probably would patch with you via sms during my GB camp ?
i was actually lying to you , i didn't want you to take your life , but at the same time , i was giving you false hope ..
on that night when we broke up , i was really worried about you , so i kept on texting you , i wanted to distract you from suicidal thoughts ..
i didn't had the intention of patching at all , never did i expected myself to be touched by your determination to be with me again ..
it was that day , after my cca , i allowed you to hold me by my waist , i thought it would be the last time ..
then before i went into the lift , you hugged me from the back ..
i felt your sincerity and love ..
after a few days , we patched , never left each other till then ..
i understand that you've lost confidence in relationship because of your previous r/s , but it's all in the past ..
i know you have let go , but it still hurts ..
i might feel a little sad that you still care , but because i know that you really love me , it's ok ..
thanks for being there for all the times , happy , sad , frustrated , angry
you never left me alone whenever i told you to ..
when we quarrel , very often you were the one who gave in , you would even come down to my house just to talk to me and hug me ..
thanks for being around when i was sick , the times you brought me to the doctor , that night when you rushed down from TPY ..
we might not have a perfect relationship , like lack of communication , but i cherish every single moment with you ..
i'm happy when you're around ..
you made my life different , maybe without you , things would be a lot different , i might have gone crazy without you trying to calm me down ..
the memories we share will always remain in my heart , my love for you gets deeper every passing day ..
i really don't know what will happen if you were to leave me one day , cos' you're my everything .. you've become a part of me , i won't be ok if you're gone ..
i know we will be able to pull through all obstacles together , cos' true love never fails ! :)
sometimes , jealousy kills , we get jealous over some reasons ..
you may not be as handsome as some other guys out there , but it's ok , cos' i love you for YOU !
there are a lot of things i want to tell you , but this post isn't enough ..
maybe , someday , i'll tell you ! :)
for now , i shall keep you thinking !
thank you for everything , i love you !
remember , without you , i'm nothing !

sweetalk !