know what ? i've gave up on caring so much , that plan will be my last plan , last time i'm caring so much ..
i really find it pointless when i care so much but in the end , i'm being taken for granted ..
actually i don't really mind being taken for granted , but i guess i've had enough ..
i will still care , but not as much , in a different way ..
i have my own problems , family , friendship , relationship and studies ..
i put aside my problems when my friends have problems of their own , so i can listen , i can advice , i can comfort them ..
i don't need anything in return .. i just hope that through everything , they would feel better , they would push away the thought of dying ..
i care because i want to know what happened so i can talk to them in a much objective way ..
if you don't like it , then tell me ! i'll stop interfering .. but i still care .. i'll always be there ..
but now , i guess it's too late .. i'm tired of all these ..
if you know you've been taking my care for granted , then why are you still doing it ?
i don't wish to give up too , i guess over-caring is in my blood .. but things are really getting overboard ..
i'm tired , really tired ..
so in the end , i'm being taken for granted .. my care and concern is being treated like a piece of shit ! i feel like i'm a back up friend .. it hurts , the feeling really sucks ! i'm not a fking toy ! not one you can throw it around , push it around , step on it ..
i don't know what exactly changed me .. i don't know if the old me will ever return ..
maybe this change is better , i need to think for myself ..
not everybody will appreciate what you've done for them .. i guess i've done my part , to my best effort alrd ..
want to listen or not , it all depends on you ..
this will be my last post before school reopens , i'll probably leave my blog to rot or i'll just put my blog on private ..
so don't bother coming to my blog anymore ..
in the past , i knew who were really there for me ..
now , i don't really know ..
don't tell me that you're there for me when you don't mean it , cos' in the end it's just rubbish ! i opened up , i talked about my problems .. but now i wonder , who were the ones who really listened ..
it's not a matter of who i want to talk to when i encounter with problems .. but a matter of who i think would really listen ..
sometimes , there's no point caring so much ..
i'm happy if you care , but if you care , do it cos' you want to and always be there ..
i really want to care , but i'm tired of caring .. i have no idea how i am going to continue caring ..
i ain't that strong ..
if you need someone to talk to , i'll always be there ..
for now , i really need to handle my own emotions ..

the first time i chose to give up ..