feeling so bored .. was listening to a lot of songs .. emo a bit again .. just now kind of quarreled with my mum when i got home .. so sorry .. i know i shouldn't have said all those stuffs .. sorry .. for the past weeks , many things have happened .. i guess my smile was just a fake one .. i couldn't actually take all those things that are happening .. even though i seem happy on the outside , but deep down in my heart , i'm feeling so so sad and hurt .. i lost .. i found out that i can't continue comforting my mum when i myself am feeling so troubled .. but i know she needs a listening ear too , someone to accompany her when she's troubled or down .. but how do i comfort her when i can't even handle my own emotions well enough ?!? haix .. it really affected me by quite a lot i guess .. no mood to do anything .. i have been putting a brave front , not crying , not telling my problems in front of my mum .. but today , i guessed she realised .. or maybe there's no more tears already .. maybe i should try harder to control my emotions .. and maybe i should continue hiding my feelings to myself .. i really don't know how to explain .. but i guess i will soon get used to it .. very often , i would feel better being outside compared to being at home .. at home , i seldom talk . and i'll go emo too .. i wasn't like this in the past .. i don't know what changed me .. haix .. emo-ing .. byebyes

faking a smile ~