things will be over soon .

hell0s ..
have been crying several times for this two days ..
i wish things would get better ..
and really thanks a lot to those who have asked ! greatly appreciated !
i know i won't be able to hold much longer , eventually - if things get worse , i'll do really silly things ..
but i'm alrd trying my best not to think of suicidal thoughts , i know it isn't the solution to the prob.
i'm trying my best to think positively ..
even if it meant deceiving myself , i really hope that things will get better ..
when i cry , i really wish to go somewhere far away from home ..
i really don't know what exactly i'm thinking right now , many things seem to be flashing through my mind ..

i wish one day you would understand why i kept repeating that phrase to you this two days , mum .. it really hurts me to see us like this , i don't want to quarrel with you , i want you to know i'll always be there for you .. but you still refused to listen to what i am trying to tell you .
i know you're never going to see this , but maybe one day you will cos ...
no matter what happens , life still has to go on ..
it hurts me everytime you say you want to leave or when you say you feel like committing suicide ..
i might not understand what exactly is happening but i really want to know what is bothering you ..
don't push me away everytime i try to talk to you , please ..
it's all right if you want to yell at me , it's all right if i'm hurt ..
cos' what really matters the most is that you tell me what's on your mind and i understand you ..
sometimes , i just go away crying because i really can't take it anymore .. i'm sorry .

i hope things will get better ..
things will be over soon , things will be over soon , things will be over soon ...
it'll be all right ..

i'm there for you .