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| super like this photo ! =D |
hell0s ! hmm I really wonder who reads my blog , besides my boyf .. LOL ..
I'm so so soooooooo happy today ! hahahas cos' I finally , FINALLY ! fulfilled my promise ! =D
a promise I made to my boyf few years ago ~ wow I can't believe it ! hahas ..
I'm gonna tell a ' secret ' and I'm sure many readers ( if I have any ) would be very shock LOL ..
I always had this shyness towards my boyf , rarely talked to my boyf unless I really needed to ..
and as time passed by , I became so used to our then communication means , typing an SMS ..
even when he's just right beside me .. as in we don't send texts to each other , but I type it in his phone to tell him things LOL .. and I don't even face him :( hmm most of my friends who are closer to me in lower sec. would know , but I suppose they don't know that I just overcame my shyness towards my boyf today ~
maybe they thought that I've long ago overcame it .. hahas
I think many ppl who have read this would think we're weird ?
but blame it on my shyness LOL ..
FINALLY , after near to 5 YEARS , I really spoke to him ..
I took such a long time and I'm really sorry , dear ..
I'm really happy that I've fulfilled my promise .. but actually it's not complete yet ..
I still feel shy facing him .. so I'm gonna work on that for the next few days :)
but seriously , if it wasn't cos' of pressure and my own ' self-talk ' , I wouldn't have been able to talk to my boyf today ..
pressure cos' I wanted him to join me for my outing with Elaine and her boyf .. so I had to try to talk to him if not it'll be awkward if we communicate via SMS in front of my friends :(
besides that , I really really want to talk to him .. so outings will be much more enjoyable , easier to express my thoughts !
and for those who are friends with me in fb , you would have noticed that photos taken with my boyf are very different as compared to those taken with my friends ..
as in my smile and the poses .. so now that I'm able to talk to him and face him , I hope the pictures will be a lot more nicer .. hahas !
I know that all along , my boyf's sad though he doesn't tell me .. instead he had to get used to it ..
the stares that strangers or even our own friends give .. the feeling of being unable to be like any other couples .. the feeling of being laughed at by others ..
before today , I envied every couple .. they look so sweet together , being able to talk to each other , teasing each other , playing with each other and even quarreling or bickering with each other ..
and I'm sure my boyf envies other couples too ..
but I hope from now onwards , he'll be happier than before !
he told me he's not used to it , cos' it's been so long since I really talked to him ..
get used to it soon dear ! =p
hahas I'm still feeling shy whenever I talk to my boyf , heart will start beating super fast .. LOL
actually I've been wanting to talk to him since last year .. but everytime I want to speak , I just couldn't say out what I want to tell him :(
it feels like we're starting something new ..
all these years , even when I don't talk to my boyf , he still loves me for who I am ..
he accepted my shyness , put aside the stares ppl give , ignored the comments and everything ..
I really want to thank him for everything !
now that I can talk to him , I really hope we'll be happier than before !
I hope I can talk to him instead of starting a quarrel everytime I have my doubts about anything or when I feel unhappy ..
I really wish that our relationship will become stronger and go on till death do us part ! ♥
I love my boyf a lot ..
he accepts every flaw of mine ,
he has seen me at my worst but still loves me ,
he has gone through with me every ups and downs ..
he loves me truthfully , wholeheartedly and unconditionally ! ♥
I love my boyf super duper lots !
hmm .. recently , I'm trying to control my emotions , my thoughts ..
I'm trying to get back the old , patient me ..
I'm alrd in progress ! I don't feel frustrated so easily anymore !
the other day when my boyf booked out from camp , I waited for him for 1.5hrs and I felt ok ! :)
just a little bit frustrated , but I felt ok ! LOL ..
ok I don't know what I'm typing but can get my point right ? hahas
and I'm trying not to be sooooooo sensitive ..
cos' I realised it won't do me any good .. I don't want to be so sensitive about every little thing ..
I don't like feeling insecure , cos' it's only my thinking .. I'm over-thinking every little thing !
I'm thinking of things that aren't even true !
being insecure won't help me gain back my confidence , it would only pull me down ..
I have to learn to trust .. jiayous to me ~~! =D
I think I'm changing .. for the better of cos' !
I feel that I'm becoming much more responsible , for myself and towards others ..
in the past when my mum asks me to help her buy stuffs , I'll forget about it very often ..
even if I rmb , I won't go and get the stuffs too .. ok I know I'm very bad ..
but recently , I noticed a change ! hahas ..
my mum asked me to buy some stuffs , I remembered and I went to get it for her !!
hahas ok .. I know it's just one incident , but I can feel myself changing .. hahas ..
must maintain or be even more filial ! hahas ..
ok I think that's it for this post .. very long alrd ~
hahas byebyes ! stay tune ok ?! =D
I decide what I want in my life :)
