sometimes it feels like the anger contained inside me is never gonna go away , it just feels like it's filling up a lot more than going away .
the anger comes a lot more often than happiness .
I really dislike or even hate myself when I'm angry , but I know I shouldn't cos' it was not my fault .
noticed that I used ' was ' instead of ' is ' .
yes , it is alrd in the past . the problem is the past , my anger is the present .
I get angry at little things , get irritated easily and everytime without fail , I feel myself going crazy .
when will I be ok again ..
feels like I don't have a choice .
I think I really need to see a professional soon if not I guess this will only get worse , and not any better .
it's hard for ppl to understand what I'm going through , hard for ppl to understand how I'm feeling .
I want a solution , I want an end to this .
it's getting tiring , getting frustrating , affecting my life in a lot of ways , giving me hell .
it's forcing me to my wits end , I feel like taking my life , an even greater urge .
sometimes I don't even know why I have to feel angry , it just comes naturally , like a normal response which is not normal , ppl can see it .
I feel like I could kill anyone who comes in my way when I'm angry .
I really really really need a solution ..
I don't expect to get well overnight , but this is getting way too much for me to handle .
this anger is consuming me , taking away my happiness , wasting my time .
IT IS A WASTE OF TIME GETTING ANGRY OVER MINOR MATTERS OR EVEN NOTHING !
it is a waste of energy , draining me out emotionally , physically and mentally .
it's so exhausting that even 13 hours of sleep is not enough , I feel like sleeping away till I get better but I know that's not gonna help .
the anger is taking over me , taking control of my life .
sometimes I feel really happy but I'll feel irritated the other min.
WHAT IS WRONG ?
I hate it when I see things which reminds me of us cos' I've not fully gotten over it yet .
on a happy note , next week is the start of my Freshmen Orientation ( FO ) !
I'm definitely looking forward to it but at the same time , I really wonder how much change it would bring to my life .
I wonder how poly would change my life , be it my personal life , my family relation , my relationship , my view on friendship .. every part of my life basically .
I wonder how my perspective of life would be changed .
I don't have the money to see a professional , so the least I can wish for is to get help in the course I'm studying .
I really want to get better as I progress on with life ..
after what has happened , I guess I have a barrier , a guard to protect myself .
I must choose my friends wisely ..
I gave up the opportunity to shout for help when I had one .
I overlooked all the problems that were coming to me and now I'm overwhelmed .
