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| thanks for bringing me up , mummy ♥ |
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| you're my amazing pillar of support ♥ |
heys !
been a long time since I started my post this way hahas !
we've been waiting for this day for quite some time alrd ~ and it's finally here !
sadly , we only spent about 2 hours tgt :( but better than nothing !
and we've started wearing our new rings alrd ! =D
then in future we'll be getting a necklace to hang our first ring ♥
I gave my boyf his present but he didn't give me mine ! :( he didn't buy anything for me .. :(
disappointed .. but nvm .. hahas :)
more pictures are on my fb profile ! :)
I'm currently going through a very frustrating period at home ..
I'm tolerating cos' it's gonna be worth it :)
like what my Twitter statement states , ' you just got to decide who is worth the pain . ' :)
all the things I'm going through now will come to an end one day ..
and when that day comes , I'll be freed from hatred , anguish and pain ..
all that has happened made me realised who I really really treasure a lot .
I'm really trying my best to control my emotions , my thoughts , my actions and my words .
I don't want to regret after I've lost the ppl who truly loves me .
I've many regrets in life and as I grow older , I want it to be minimised , esp. those towards my love ones .
I don't want to regret life , I don't want to grow old , look back and find that I've wasted my time doing stupid things when I HAD the chance to make things right .
no matter how difficult it is for me , I want to make things right .
I want to love ppl who truly loves me the right way , I want to cherish the ppl who truly loves me ,
I want to change my attitude .
it's wrong for me to keep venting my anger and hatred on others when they don't even deserve it .
it's wrong for me to raise my voice no matter how angry I am .
it's wrong for me to hurl vulgarities even when I'm really angry .
it's wrong for me to hurt the ppl who loves me cos' I'm deeply hurt .
it's wrong for me to take ppl for granted .
I'm conscious , despite the fact that anguish is blinding me .
there's a part of me inside full of guilt and I don't want to grow up regretting all that I've done .
I don't want to dwell on the past , something that I can't change and something that is beyond my control .
I know that life isn't smooth but sometimes , I put in too much feelings and get hurt myself .
I don't want to just type all these out and do nothing to change , I have to take actions .
it's leading me nowhere good if I continue thinking negatively , if I continue feeling the hatred and anger , if I continue feeling angry at ppl .
I've to let go . let go of what's not meant to be and let go of the ppl who don't deserve me .
I want to live life happier , I want to live life to the fullest and make the best out of everything .
I'll try my very best to push out negative thoughts and do whatever I can to feel ok again .
I've thought of seeing a professional cos' I think I'm sinking into depression or have alrd sank in .
should I ? should I not ? I've no idea why I'm even considering though ..
but I really hope I can get well on my own and with the accompany of my mum , my bro and my boyf . ( they are the ppl who really know my problems )
I will get well , right ?
anyway , about my boyf not getting me anything , I'm just kidding ! =X
he has alrd prepared things for me but I can't get it from him at the moment ~ :)
stay tuned ! byebyes ~
a little bit stronger .
