hmm I don't know how I'm feeling now , a little lost a little happy ?
I said before that I would live life happier , but I just can't feel any happier .
probably it would take years for me to get over it , probably I won't ever be able to get over it .
all I know is that I've to live life to the fullest and make the best out of everything .
I shouldn't let ppl affect my life so much , I shouldn't allow them to hurt me as they like ,
I should control my own life .
well , it's after reading one of my friend's blog then I felt slightly better ? ( not sure if she's trying to tell it to me but it did help reading it . )
no matter how upset I am , no matter how much negative thoughts I have , no matter how many flashbacks there are , I shouldn't let it ruin my life .
my life is screwed enough , upset for 10 months but what's the point ?
I have not let go of that friendship , it still affects me .
probably I've accepted it but the feelings are still there .
I know it won't heal overnight , it would take quite some time .
but I shouldn't get upset so often anymore , I shouldn't hope for the friendship , I shouldn't care so much anymore .
I shouldn't let that long gone friendship affect my life .
I shouldn't inflict hurt on others .
I must get over it .
this coming week I'm gonna be so busy .
working on Monday & Tuesday , orientation from Wednesday - Friday !
then school starts the week after this coming week =D
will be travelling to the East from tomorrow onwards , for 3 years ! LOL
I know I'm gonna be very tired cos' of work but I just want to earn money and keep myself occupied .
when I'm busy , I don't think too much .
I don't want to avoid the problems and yes , I'll face it and in fact , I'm alrd facing it .
all the feelings that would come to me one by one when I get reminded of that person , I'm alrd experiencing it .
I will get better .
I will live life happier everyday , I will stay positive and I'll tell myself that one day , I won't feel sad anymore when I'm reminded of that person again .
I don't want my relationship with my family , boyf and friends to suffer cos' of whatever that has happened .
I must stop it from ruining my life further .
though I lost a friendship I cherished a lot , but I've gained more from it .
I know who are the ppl who would stay by my side no matter what , thanks to this issue .
and I guess I've grown a little stronger ? definitely grew up .
anyway , CONGRATULATIONS TO MY BOYF !
he got into a local uni ! =D
really happy for him :) so he doesn't have to worry about not getting into a uni anymore ! :)
we'll both be studying , so hopefully we can study tgt when we have the time and of cos' have fun ! =D
byebyes ! stay tune ! :)
what comes around , goes around .
