Valentine's Day ♥

HI ! :) 
first off , HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO ALL ! :) I know I'm one day late =X
and today is TOTAL DEFENCE DAY ! =D 
it's been more than a week since I last blogged hahas ..
anyway , I've got 2 jobs now ~ hahas cos' there's very little roadshows , so I got myself a 2nd job to earn some money and keep myself occupied ! :)
if you're friends with me on fb. or a daily reader of STOMP , 
you'll know that my boyf has posted a love story there ! ♥
it might be a simple story but I definitely appreciate the time and effort he has put in it ♥
well , we don't have such perfect and smooth journey in this relationship ..
we meet lots of setbacks and obstacles and currently are still facing some of it .
but I'm really glad that despite all the conflicts , misunderstandings and disapproval we had , we managed to pull through and my boyf has never once thought of giving up on us and on me ♥  
there's bound to be disapproval for whatever you do in life .
just like this participation in the love story contest , there were good and bad comments .
we don't expect to win the contest cos' it's mainly just to show our appreciation towards one another but to the ppl who supported us , thanks a lot and we truly appreciate it :)
seeing the no. of likes increasing in my fb. profile brings a smile to my face 
cos' I know there are ppl who supports us !
and to all our supporters , you guys are awesome ! =D
to the haters and whoever that gave bad comments , I don't care :)


recently , I've realised that this world is made up of so many different kind of ppl .
and I really dislike hypocrites , ungrateful ppl and also those who always judge and criticise others .
no one is perfect is this world , all of us are equal be it wealth , looks or qualifications .
it doesn't mean you can judge ppl if you have all the positive in the above three .
it just shows one thing , you're nowhere better :)


AND ! I'm still struggling with life , friendship :(
I know what I want in the future but I don't want to be molded into a person full of negativity .
for sure , I don't know where my emotions are taking me .. sometimes it's good , sometimes it's bad but it just has to happen so often ~
I hate this frequent moodswing ..
I've been thinking little by little every single day .. whatever happened to me ?
I know what caused my insecurities in my relationship so now what I have to go is get over it , trust myself , trust my boyf , trust this relationship :)
what about friendship ? it seems harder to regain faith . 
probably cos' I've always been closer to my close friends in the past and it just seems difficult to trust again .
I've always known and felt being taken for granted . but what did I do to stop myself from feeling that way ? nothing . 
I guess that is why I'm finding it so hard to trust friendship now .
I've really great friends and I really want a few ppl to be in that list but I'm afraid of getting hurt .
once bitten , twice shy , thrice fool .
maybe it's true that if ppl want to stay in my life , they'll make an effort ?
sometimes , I really really want to be there for my friends when they need me .
I want to walk through the tough journey with them .
but at times , I just can't help it but to think of the hurt they've inflicted in my life and hesitate .
you know , if there's one thing I can ever redo again in friendship , I would voice out my thoughts .
but I know what's done is done ..
I'm the type of girl who wouldn't hesitate to give support or be by someone's side when they need someone to talk to , even if I have problems of my own ..
but now , it doesn't seem so .. it's just too difficult to do it , cos' I'll feel like I'm being used .
and I can't even help myself now ..


recently my boyf just talked to me and made me realised things that I've never thought before .
I'm just going through a period where things often go wrong , I've to take it easy .
life is never smooth and if I take it so seriously everytime shit happens , I'll always feel miserable .
sometimes , I just got to look at things at a different angle . I can't be feeling so lousy and thinking negatively everytime shit happens .
probably it's the environment I grow up in ..
I just happen to see everything that makes me feel insecure which adds up to other insecurities , I just happen to be violent esp. towards myself ..
but I can change it , I decide what I want in the future and I decide who I want to be .
I want to be someone positive and someone who is able to remain calm at all situations and I definitely don't want to turn into someone violent .
I also don't want to be someone who doesn't think before she speaks when she's angry .
sometimes when bad things happen , it can be my fault or the environment's or others' ..
it does not mean that everytime shit happens , it's my fault . I got to analyse the situation ..
I cannot keep blaming myself for letting ppl hurt me , I cannot blame myself for being stupid .
I shouldn't let my thinking control my mind , but instead allow my mind to control my thinking .
life will be better in future if I make a change now :)


when I fall , get back up ! =D