School
It's the holidays now !! Yes my term tests are finally over ! It was my last paper yest !
No more burying my head in the books for now =D ( But I still have some assignments to complete over this two weeks holiday )
The tests were all right but I could have done better for Counseling Psych. , I should have studied more and I should have done the quizzes before the test .
Since it's alrd over , I shall make sure that I don't repeat the same mistake again .
Just one more term left to go and it's the end of sem 2.1 . Jiayous Linda ! :)
This morning , I just chose my electives and Cross-Disciplinary Subjects ( CDS ) to take for next sem and I hope I get the choice(s) I like and am most interested in .
Know what ! Although it's my holidays right now , I am still so busy with sch. stuffs .
Next week , I would be so busy doing my assignments .
Also , I have a 2D1N camp cos' I joined a new CCA , Production Crew .
Have I ever mentioned it ? But anyway , it's more of backstage stuffs , like control of lightings , sounds and videotaping .
Anyhow , I am glad that there's a break for us cos' it was really super draining for me during this term .
I started the first day of school feeling overwhelmed and I felt that way for almost the whole term and it sucks .
School work exhausted me out by a lot , physically , emotionally and mentally .
I felt lk I was going nuts for real .
I cried when I did my assignments/projects , felt lk tearing whichever book I was reading , felt lk giving up .
Yes , honestly this term was the first time ever I really really really felt lk giving up .
I used to be afraid that I would regret going into Psychology Studies and this term forced me to feel it .
But it's not to the extent I really want to withdraw from the course , I guess it's just the workload and every other factors that were affecting me .
In the past , giving up was just a mere thought and it would go away as soon as I got my work done .
But this term , giving up became something I yearned for . Withdrawing came to mind whenever things got tough and stressful .
Even when I had my work done on time , I felt that it wasn't good enough .
I felt lk there wasn't enough time for me to do the necessary revision and complete the assgs. on time .
I flared up , fell sick , stressed myself , lost my appetite , lost the strength to even speak as much as I would usually do when I'm ok and mentally tortured myself .
I'm quite certain it's the workload that affected me so much and I've really got to learn to manage it and make sure this doesn't happen to me again in future .
I'm glad term 1 is over .
Many freshies or even juniors/seniors are saying that anyone who says poly. life is easy has never experienced it before .
I find it quite true cos' poly. life really isn't that easy as I thought it would be before I enrolled .
I still remember myself telling my friends , " Poly. can slack a bit alrd . " .
Oh how wrong was I .
Then maybe I'm right , but that slack you can get for yourself is really very very little if you were to put in your best effort in everything you do in school .
However , poly. life would become easy when you decide to love whatever you're doing .
When we begin every new semester , we all have a GPA of 4.0 for every single module . What we have to do is just to maintain that perfect score .
But , it isn't that easy , at least for me .
You have to make sure that you ace every single assg. , you do well enough in tests/exams to maintain your A and everything is just about ace-ing it .
I am still gonna give it a shot cos' I really really need to pull up my GPA .
Even if I fail to perfect it for the remaining semesters , I would be able to forgive myself cos' I know I have put in my ultimate best for the 3 years :)
Relationship
I'm really thankful to have my boyf around with me for so long and today is our 6th year 2nd month together ! ♥
No matter what happens between us or to either of us , he would always be around for me , going through everything with me .
Taking school as an example , he would always encourage me to hold on and comfort me when I'm stressed , tired and when I feel like giving up .
I remember there was a particular day when I was feeling so drained out from studies and everything else and he came down to meet me for a while at night before I went home , just to give me a hug .
He had so much school work to do , yet he made an effort to meet me just to comfort me ♥
Iloveyou ♥
Friendship
暂时还分不清楚谁是真 , 谁是假 .
I'm still afraid of being used by ppl. , so I tend to tell myself not to cling on to friendships , esp. when I strongly feel that I'm being made used of .
I used to believe that the other party would cherish the friendship as much as I do , I used to believe that they wouldn't leave me .
But right now , I can't bring myself to fully believe these .
I guess when you've lost total faith for something , it will never ever be the same again with other people .
I think it's really impt. that I learn to forgive myself .
